Love is the Emblem of Eternity
by Revin Songlifter
Summary: Memories and reflections of a love lost


Title: **LOVE IS THE EMBLEM OF ETERNITY**  
Author: Revin Songlifter  
Timeframe: Post ROTJ  
Characters: Sheltay Retrac, Leia, Winter  
Summary: Memories and reflections of a love lost  
Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction written in appreciation of Star Wars, to promote the franchise and to keep it alive. All characters and settings original to Star Wars are copyright to Lucasfilm, Ltd. The rest is copyright to the author. No profit was gained from this story.

_He was the finest man I've ever known_. If she heard it one more time she was going to scream.

The memorial service was almost done, the tribute to Bail Organa winding down as the last of the speakers finished their allotted time. Each one seemed to have the same speech, the same phrase running through each essay. Hers would not be like that.

She fingered the page of notes, hands shaking slightly. She had not spoken in public for years. But the Emperor was dead, the Republic was forming again, and the time had come to publicly acknowledge the loss of Alderaan and its leaders. As one of the few surviving members of the "inner circle" the Memorial Committee had found her –- she hadn't cared to find out how -– and insisted she come. The message had even been written by Princess Leia, couched in familiar formal terminology. So, here she was. She had wanted to ignore it, but a Royal Command was a Royal Command. Even if there wasn't anything to command, anymore.

A senator she didn't recognize stepped down from the platform, wiping his eyes. It was her turn. She had asked them not to announce her, so silence reigned in the Senate Building courtyard while she stood up and threw off her cloak to reveal the stunning white costume she had always worn while conducting press conferences. She had been pleasantly surprised that it still fit. If her hair now was grey instead of black, if the wrinkles on her face revealed a woman much older than the one pictured in the Senatorial Archives, it didn't matter. Standing in her hotel room admiring the slim figure in the mirror, she had allowed herself a moment of elation that something, a little something, hadn't changed.

Walking slowly to the podium, keeping her eyes to her notes, she began to speak.

"Good afternoon, everyone. My name is Sheltay Retrac. Some of you may remember me as Senior Aide to Senator Bail Organa. I worked for Bail Organa for twenty five years. Ours was a partnership forged out of mutual respect and commitment to a common purpose; that politics can be dedicated to bringing prosperity and peace to every inhabitant of the galaxy. I was engaged in that endeavor when the Emperor, in whose office I was standing at the time, received the communication that Alderaan had been destroyed."

Pausing, her thoughts went back to that indelible moment when Palpatine, cracked and yellow teeth beaming from his lying, evil mouth, announced to the lobbyists visiting his office what had occurred. She remembered the shock on everyone's faces, the Imperial Guard rushing to her side as she fell to her knees keening in a wail that could be heard all the way to the Senate chambers.

The words on the flimsy began to waver, but she held the unshed tears in with an indomitable will. She had never shown weakness before and nothing would change now.

There had been a murmur of surprise in the audience when she said her name, so she put those rumors to rest immediately. "Many of you think you are seeing a ghost. There are reasons my husband, Ob Khaddar decided to let the world believe that he and I were dead. The deception was necessary at the time. It is no longer necessary. Although I will be returning to my home as soon as my duties here are concluded." She looked pointedly at Princess Leia, who stared back from her place at the head table. For all her outward show of understanding and contentment, the princess had never been able to accept that her father's aide had survived, but her father had not. Nor could she ever overlook the deep and abiding love that Sheltay Retrac carried for Bail Organa. Oh, he had never known, of course; he had had eyes only for his beloved Breha. But Leia knew.

Leia would probably be glad that Sheltay was going home to an empty house. Ob Khaddar had left her many years ago, tired of being ignored. It didn't matter anyway. Her life had died when her love had died.

"As a junior member of our delegation, my pampered life on Alderaan had not prepared me for the intrigue, backstabbing and political expediency that was business as usual in the Galactic Senate. I was days away from leaving when Bail Organa took his father-in-law's place as Senator and asked us all to stay on as his staff. Six years later, I had risen to work beside him as his most trusted advisor. We made a great team; he was relentless in his pursuit of "the greatest good for the greatest number," as he often called it, and I was single-minded in my quest to ensure that nothing, absolutely nothing, got in the way of keeping him from attaining that goal."

She looked out over the crowd, noting that many were watching her with a mixture of curiosity and embarrassment. This was not the fulsome address that they expected, full of platitudes. "Other speakers have called Bail Organa the finest man they ever knew. I, who knew him best, can't accept that -- because he would scoff at it. He harbored no illusions that ideals often had to be sacrificed to political expediency. He understood that greed and evil went hand in hand with generosity and goodness. His warm and loving nature was a trademark of his dealings with supporters _and_ rivals. But when necessary, he was hard and ruthless to anyone who stood in his way. I was proud to be the instrument of that personality."

Again her thoughts took her back, to how she had gotten used to turning down request after request for some petty project or patronage, some group wanting Organa's vote for a ridiculous bill. "The Senator regrets..." oh, how she had enjoyed saying it, fending off those who only wanted him for their selfish, short-sighted agendas. If sometimes the lines of law and morality blurred she was there to make certain the necessities of political life were observed. There had also been the good times, when the fight to make life better not only on Alderaan but across the galaxy had been won through passage of legislature benefiting the many instead of the few. The late nights, the lack of a social life, the understanding that _she_ was the reviled one had disappeared with the look on Bail's face and his hand on her shoulder as he thanked her for her efforts. The realization that she had fallen completely and deeply in love with him had not come as a surprise but as a gradual awareness that in his presence her life would always be beautiful and fulfilling. It had been easy to maintain "devotion to duty" as her façade, so necessary in a time when cameras and gossip-mongers were everywhere; Sheltay had not honed her reputation as cold and aloof for nothing. Besides, his love for his queen and their daughter was unmistakable. Sheltay's own feelings stayed hidden. That her life was now scarred and empty was a consequence no one could have foreseen.

The shuffling of feet and a few discreet coughs brought Sheltay back to the present. A HoloNet "op" this was, not a time to ruminate on what had been and could never be again.

"That others stand here and speak of his service to the galaxy is exemplary. But what he would have been proudest of is not his own accomplishments, but that of his daughter, Princess Leia." Turning her head, Sheltay saw the surprise on Leia's face. Her own daughter Winter, Leia's best friend, was sitting next to the Princess looking equally taken aback. Sheltay smiled warmly, secretly pleased that something she had done was unexpected. "Senator Bail Organa understood that bringing down the Empire would involve bloodshed, and he was tormented by the awful reality of achieving that goal. He also recognized the danger his daughter was in as she worked in secret to put an end to Palpatine's deadly grip." Her voice had risen, her delivery unconsciously slipping into her long-forgotten role of advocate, body and hands emphasizing the points of her speech. "Have no doubt that the Senator knew that obligation often begets horror. Yes, Alderaan was a peaceful planet and her senior senator a master at diplomacy. But diplomacy could not rid our galaxy of the evil that the Emperor perpetuated. That took the courage and valor and sacrifice of Princess Leia and the thousands of beings who stood with her." She took a moment to fold her paper in half, and then Sheltay looked up and swept the crowd with her eyes, capturing them all. "Honor him for his deeds, but also honor him for raising a child whose own accomplishments ensure that his will live forever."

Sheltay stepped away from the podium and the audience burst into applause, rising to their feet in a standing ovation that she neither heard nor saw. Eager hands reached out to touch her but she was intent on claiming her cloak and making her way out of the courtyard. A sudden bolt of giddiness swept over her and she stopped for a second to put a hand to her head, the euphoria of reliving her role as senatorial aide fading, leaving her incredibly drained.

And then there was another hand on her arm, and a voice that she knew well saying her name. She turned at the sound and bowed her head in the timeworn salute. "Princess."

"Sheltay, I just wanted to thank you for what you said. I know it was heartfelt, so different from some of those pompous fools that were just there for the cameras." Leia Organa took a step back, and looked the other woman up and down, smiling shrewdly. "I recognized the gown immediately, you know. It brought it all back, the old Senate days, how you had those reporters wrapped around your fingers. How Father appreciated everything you did."

Breha had raised a princess, and it was a princess that stood in front of Sheltay, chin lifted, face composed, and serenely confident. From a ray of memory Sheltay remembered the pose; Bail had often stood this same way, waiting for Sheltay to pass along an important piece of information, or even the latest piece of silly Senate goings-on. The tears threatened again, and she took a few seconds to compose herself before speaking again.

"You're welcome, Your Highness." Sheltay smiled with satisfaction. "It was perhaps not what everyone expected to hear, but remembering Bail and everything he stood for, it needed to be said. He was proud of you, you know. Very proud, all the time, and very worried, much of the time."

"Would you like to come back with us? Winter's gone to call for our transportation, and I thought perhaps if you have a few minutes... don't rush away, Sheltay. Please." Leia's voice began to quiver. "I-I'd just l-like to t-talk to you about F-Father."

That was the breaking point. As Leia's tears started to fall Sheltay reached out and took her in her arms, enfolding the younger woman in a tight embrace while they both poured their grief and sorrow out in an explosion of emotion. They stood together for several minutes, lost to a mutual reinforcement of memories while everything in the world fell away.

Sheltay became aware of Winter standing at her elbow and slowly looked up, wiping the moisture from her face while taking note of the concern written on her daughter's features mixed with surprise that her mother had the princess in her arms. "_Hello, dear_," she silently mouthed.

Leia suddenly became aware of Winter then, too, and raised her own reddened face. "I'm sorry, I—"

"--Don't even think of apologizing. You've done nothing wrong. Winter, where's the shuttle?"

"Right along here, Mother."

Sheltay turned Leia around and put Winter's hand in hers. "Princess, go ahead. I'll be there in a moment."

While Winter led Leia away Sheltay took one last look around. The courtyard was still filled with beings, many of them making their way into the Senate building; it was a workday, after all. If she had not known better she would have said that everything was just as it was the last time she had seen him.

Sheltay closed her eyes and she was suddenly back, walking beside Bail Organa while they headed for that same entrance, moving fast, sweeping everyone aside from their path. It had been only a few days before his death. They were talking about something totally inconsequential when he suddenly stopped, and turning, put his hand on her shoulder in the heart-stopping gesture she knew so well.

_"When you give the Emperor my message that I'm sorry I couldn't attend his meeting, I can't have him wonder why I've suddenly been called away. I think this time we've done it, Sheltay. Once we destroy his new abomination, hundreds of worlds will see that this Empire is doomed and join us. I'm relying on you, Sheltay, to make sure that Palpatine suspects nothing."_

And she had nodded and agreed to do her best, parting with him as he boarded his shuttle to return to Alderaan and wait for Leia and General Kenobi. And then everything had gone very, very wrong. Only a few hours after Tarkin had shown the depths of his depravity Sheltay had fled with her husband to a hiding place on a dingy world on the edge of the Core, with only her memories to call upon for the comfort that never came.

Sheltay opened her eyes. She would talk to Leia; there would be no holding back. It was time to remember the past, to speak the truth of it and acknowledge that Bail Organa still commanded her love, forever and always.

Straightening her shoulders and bringing up her head, Sheltay began to walk to the shuttle.


End file.
